A bucket of water

I saw a post on Instagram the other day by Havilah Cunnington. It was a post that was a picture of these words written: ” I love when people who have been through hell walk out of the flames carrying buckets of water for those still consumed by the fire.” Under the picture she captioned it by saying “If 2019 was the year you walked through fire, maybe 2020 will be the year you help other people walk through theirs.”

Man…. What a thought? What if we walked through every trial and tribulation like that? What if we thought about how this trial will shape out to be a beautiful testament of God’s faithfulness so that we can help someone else?

2017, 2018 and 2019 have been years of straight fire for me. Now if you were looking at my Instagram you wouldn’t know that. But isn’t that how the enemy gets us? We only post what is good in our lives and so looking in the window of social media you would never think I was walking through the fire. Back in October of 2017 my dad went home to Jesus and 6 months later, in April of 2018 one of my precious students was shot and killed. After Isiah passed away it would seem as though my life had done a 180 and it would have appeared as though I was catapulted from the valley and straight to the mountaintop with out ever having to climb. The weekend after my student’s passing my husband (boyfriend at the time) finally moved to Greenville after 3 years of being long distance. YAY!  In October of 2018 Seth popped the question and we began wedding planning! In April of 2019 we got married! In June of 2019 I completed my fourth year of teaching in the public school system and finally had paid back my NC Teaching Fellow dues to the State of North Carolina and  I began my dream job that God had spoken to me six years prior. On social media this doesn’t look like fire, but I can promise you it was.

I am writing all of this because I want to send a bucket of water to those who are in the trenches of wedding planning and being a newlywed or just waiting on your season to change no matter what it may be. All of these events were truly joyful and each once was beautifully crafted by God. The pictures that never seem to get posted are the in-between days. You see all the great things happening but never the climbing and refining that took place to get there.

Getting married was no small task. Aside from just the ultimate STRESS of planning a wedding, there is the pressure of just how are we going to make this work? How do we bring two lives together? What does this look like? Am I ready for this? When I was engaged and planning the wedding I remember others who were already married or were engaged would say that their engagement season was the sweetest season and for them maybe it was, but mine definitely was not. It wasn’t until I was at church one day talking to a friend of mine and they told me that their engagement season was hard and I just remember there being a sigh of relief in my heart. I was thinking I was the only one which then led me to think, what am I doing wrong? It helps when we know we aren’t walking alone which is why social media can be super tricky. If we aren’t careful and don’t know the enemy’s schemes we will fall right into to the trap of thinking that everyone else’s life is great and God has just absolutely forgotten about me.

Marriage is the joining of two people together! We can’t be full of ourselves walking into a marriage. There has to be some refining and digging up of old roots. Refining of character. Refining the things you have been able to hide from the rest of the world but you can’t from your spouse. I couldn’t hide that I really struggle being vulnerable and letting someone help me. I struggled letting Seth in to love me and me not be Miss Independent. Then on top of refining there is the healing. Healing the fear that my marriage would end up in divorce because my parents got divorced. Healing the wound that my daddy wouldn’t be there on my wedding day to walk me down the isle.

Those moments of crying or yelling aren’t the ones that showed up on social media. They never do….

I remember thinking that once we got married it would be like we entered the promise land! In fact I remember reading so much about the Promise Land in my bible leading up to the wedding. I thought the Promise Land was the perfect place where there was no longer anything that could hurt you and you could just live an easy breezy life….. BOY WAS I WRONG! Now don’t get me wrong,  I LOVE being married to Seth Wagner! I wouldn’t trade being married to him for anything in this world but marriage is work and a lot of learning! After we had been married for about two months I remember being so upset at God. God had told me that we had entered the Promise Land when we got married, but it certainly didn’t feel like what I had expected. I was so over it being hard. I finally broke down crying at the feet of Jesus and asked Him “Why does this have to be so hard?” and He so gently replied “Because you have to do the hard work now to enjoy and reap the harvest later. If you want a healthy marriage then you have to do the work and fight for it.” I went back and read in my bible where the Israelites had finally entered into the Promise Land and you know what I found? The whole book of Joshua, once they stepped into the Promise Land, was all battles. BATTLES! Even though they had stepped into God’s long awaited promise there was still work to be done. Now God was with them in every battle and they won every battle and God gave His people all that He had promised them. God was faithful and ever present! Still there was battle after battle and victory after victory.

The fighting that God wants me to do is not with my spouse. He wants me to fight through prayer. Prayer shows my dependence upon the One who is actually going to bring about the victory. God wants me to fight for truth. The truth that “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Mark 10:9 We live in a culture today where marriage isn’t something you fight for anymore. If it gets hard then it can just be assumed that you chose the wrong person or that maybe you really aren’t made for each other. After God created the world and man the next thing on His agenda was marriage. Isn’t it obvious that God so deeply cares about marriage! Marriage is a beautiful live picture of His love and glory on display. Don’t you think the enemy would try his darndest to try and mess up something God so deeply cares about? Hence the reason the enemy wants marriage to feel impossible and he wants you to to think God has left you alone in it.

I will tell you that when I stepped into the promise God had given Seth and I, there was nothing in me that wanted to fight another battle. I felt like I was in a Rocky movie where I had just had the crap beat out of me and yet I have people around me telling me to get up and keep fighting back. The root of the issue was I expected God to do something and when He didn’t do it the way I had planned or wanted Him to I was not a happy camper to say the least.

I think this is pretty common. People don’t talk about it a lot, but it definitely happens. We want God to move in a certain way and when He doesn’t we think that He has forgotten about us or doesn’t care. THAT IS A LIE BIGGER THAN TEXAS STRAIGHT FROM THE ENEMY. God cares. Oh my dear how it all matters to God. If only my faint little heart would trust Him. I just knew that I wanted to finally enjoy a season without having to do the hard work. God has other plans in store. God isn’t about just making it easy when out hearts are at stake. God is about relationship. He is about what lasts not what just feels good for a moment. The hard work is calling you to is worth it. Your MARRIAGE is WORTH IT!

In these past few years of refining and fire I can say with full confidence that God has never left my side and He is faithful. Whatever battle God is calling me to fight I have to know that He is with me and a testimony is on the rise. Let’s be women who don’t shy away from the battlefield because we know that there are other woman in the same spot you are that needs the hope that you have. Let’s be women who are ready to give out a  bucket of water for the one who is still in the fire.

I pray this blog brings you hope. I pray that despite what season you find yourself in God is faithful. Remember that as you go through your newsfeed on Facebook and Instagram that you are only seeing a glimpse into everyone’s life you don’t actually get the whole picture. Marriage is worth fighting for. God has not left you in your battle He is just wanting on you to depend ONLY on Him for the victory!

 

Love,

A Woman of Jesus prepared for the next battle

 

 

So will I…

IT IS THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN!! BACK TO SCHOOL TIME!! (And all the parents said Amen while the teachers are Praying: “Lord please help me”.)

It is time for all the printing 500 new labels with students names, going to MEETINGS, MEETINGS, MEETINGS AND MORE MEETINGS. It is time for laminating and cutting, and all the printing, and hot gluing stuff to the walls, and not being able to sleep because of the million tabs you have open in your brain of all the things you need to do. It is time for setting an alarm, loading yourself up with Emergen-C, asking anyone you know for places you can get tennis balls for your desks and chairs. It is time for your Teachers Pay Teachers cart to be bigger than your grocery cart and for ALL THE MEETINGS, and making 75 different lists because one list won’t cover all the things you need to do, buy, email, save, print, ask, or label. For teachers it is a crazy time. Most people I know like to call it the season where I go back in hiding and they don’t see me for the next 180 days. I thought that with each year you gain experience in education, these back to school days get easier and easier, each year I found out I was wrong. There are teachers, who have taught just about everyone and their momma, who still are prepping and running around like a chicken with their head cut off to get all the things done and prepared for that First Day of School.

All of that, plus many things I didn’t list, is just the beginning of being a teacher. That is before the kids even get there.  Once the students arrive then more responsibilities and things to do get added to the list. It can be quit overwhelming and exhausting.

With all of this in mind, this isn’t the reason I was fearful of coming coming back to school this year. Back in July I was asked a question, that threw me off track. One of my best friends asked “Haley, are you excited for this upcoming school year?” Every bit with in me wanted to cringe. I knew in that moment Jesus was wanting to touch something in me that was not of Him. Every teacher may not be ready in that moment to go back to school because there is still a month of summer left, but this wasn’t that feeling. It was a feeling of fear that wanted to run and quit.

Back in April I lost one of my precious students in a shooting. That child was my heart. He was one of my babies. My heart was shattered. Even though I walked through healing with the Lord and I know that my God was faithful through it all it didn’t stop the enemy from planting a seed of fear within me. My fear of starting this school year was not because of the planning, and the overwhelming amount of tasks, but because of not wanting to open up my heart in order to get close enough to let another group of students in and something tragically happen again. As my friend asked me that question I knew what Jesus wanted to begin healing.

A week went by and I was at church that following Sunday and a worship song that I have sang several times was being played. It is “So Will I…” By Hillsong United. As I worshipped that Sunday, Jesus struck a cord in me through the last few verses in that song.

“I can see Your heart
Eight billion different ways
Every precious one
A child You died to save
If You gave Your life to love them so will I

Like You would again a hundred billion times
But what measure could amount to Your desire
You’re the One who never leaves the one behind”

I wept as I sang those words. Immediately Jesus said “If you are after my will then this is what you will do and continue to do. There is fear there of losing Isiah but don’t let that stop you from Rising Up to love more children that I have for you. Trust me.”

Teachers, if you get anything out of reading this I pray it is this:  Jesus was and is The Good Teacher. Jesus is our example. Teachers are all about Modeling, and Differentiating, and, Expectations. Well Jesus Modeled the behavior to follow, He Differentiated His instruction that all of His children could understand, and He set the Expectation of what a teacher should do for each one of their children. I pray we declare these words over ourselves, “If You gave your life to love them, So will I. Like you would again a hundred billion times.” They enemy wants to take us out by wearing us out. BUT we will stand a hundred billion times for our children because that is what our Father did for us! 

A hundred billion times Jesus would do exactly what HE did every single time, without question. Jesus would suffer the pain, carry the burden, and die on the cross not for HIMSELF but for the sins of His children. Jesus was THE TEACHER who worked tirelessly. He was under appreciated, under paid, called to many meetings, questioned, ridiculed, lacked resources from the government, and could never please everyone no matter how perfect he was and how much he tried. Yet, a hundred billion times He would do it again for His children. Just like every year I will Rise Up and do the same. I will continue to do it again, and again for the children He gives me. This life that I was given was called to What Jesus did. I was called to love and God’s perfect love casts out all fear. God showed me how He gave His life to love them and I will spend the rest of my days loving them as well. We have been entrusted with a gift. A gift that only God can give. As a teacher we hear people tell us all the time “Well bless you for teaching, because I certainly don’t have what it takes to be a teacher.” People on the outside even know that teaching takes a certain gift. All of us who teach aren’t even sure how we teach either. Yet, every year we do. It is only because of Jesus. The resources, the strength, the love, and the patience can only come from Him. God pours out His Holy Spirit and we are empowered day in and day out to do the work we have been called to do.

No matter what your fear is this year, whether it is a fear of a new acronym being added, not being good enough, all the requirements and demands, parents, testing, behaviors, lesson plans, organization, expectations, or even the fear of opening up your heart to recklessly love another group of kids, allow God to touch that place in your heart to remind you of that same power that rose Jesus from the grave is the same power that resides in you. Let God override that fear with His peace. Let God remind you why you will do this every single time and every single year. It should always be because Jesus gave His life to love His children and So will you and I.

• I will choose the surrender to His will. It is “YOUR kingdom come and YOUR WILL be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.” Matthew 6:10
• I will gladly choose to selflessly love my students every single day even if they don’t appreciate all of the laminating, and cutting, and planning I do for them. ^“For who is greater, the one who is at the table or the one who serves? Is it not the one who is at the table? But I am among you as one who serves.” Matthew 22:27
• I will choose to joyfully attend each training and meeting because in that is where God will grow us as a staff in His unity.  “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.” James 1:2-3
• I will give up my wants and needs in order to best support these children who sometimes never have anyone who puts them first. “See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven.” Matthew 18:10
• I will plan accordingly and not fuss about all the demands because in the end I am ultimately working for my God not for a school system. “Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people.” Colossians 3:23
• I will honor and obey every choice made by my administration because my trust is in my Father not in man.  “Everyone must submit to governing authorities. For all authority comes from God, and those in positions of authority have been placed there by God.” Romans 13:1
• I will lift up and encourage those who are around me instead of reminding them of all the things we haven’t gotten done before report card time.“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33
• I will do what I can not what I can’t. “The truth is that this poor widow gave more to the collection than all the others put together. All the others gave what they’ll never miss; she gave extravagantly what she couldn’t afford—she gave her all.” Mark 12:41-44

Jesus left it all in the hands of His Father and So will I.  

 

So grab you a Pumpkin Spice Latte, turn up your worship music, turn on that hot glue gun and printer, saddle up the horse, and get on with it. The kids will be here before we know it and they need us ready to teach our heart out and to love them with everything we have in us!

 

Love,

The Teacher who is in Soul Pursuit of Jesus

 

The cape I wear…

As a 1st Grade Public School Teacher I have learned that I wear more hats and play more roles during the day than just that of a school teacher. On an average day I not only fulfill my duties of being an educator, but I am also a nurse, a counselor, a mom, a judge, a lawyer, a princess, a president, a super hero, and many more. I am not each one of those to just one child, but I am every single one of those to at least 20 children. You see in my classroom, in the eyes of my sweet students I am the one that can do all. I can fix everything. I am the one who wears the cape and the invisible crown. To my children, I walk on gold. I don’t say that arrogantly. (Trust me, my kids keep me humbled.)  Every student looks at their their teacher that way. It doesn’t matter how many times we have fussed that day about staying in their seat, or using their reading strategies, or washing their hands, they still love you. Most days it leaves me bewildered. They still leave everyday with a smile, a hug, and a compliment for Miss Strickland. Even the one that left on red that day for their behavior, still tells me how much they love me.

A teacher has been something that I have always wanted to be. When I made the decision long ago, in my mind, that I was going to be a teacher, I didn’t realize what exactly I was signing up for, but Jesus did. After my first year teaching I knew for sure that I was not crafted to be a teacher. I was anointed to do it, but not skilled to do it. I knew that all the organization, scheduling, focusing, and planning was far beyond any of my capabilities. The only thing that I really knew that I had down pat as a teacher is my ability to love my students. My ability to love my kids fiercely as if they were really my own. Loving them is what I do. Every since my first year, Jesus has constantly been speaking to me about shepherding my sheep. Not just shepherding, but shepherding well. Jesus made it clear that despite all of the other demands, loving my children will come first. With the call from Jesus to shepherd my sheep well, and the perfect pedestal that my children had placed me on, I formed the mentality that I truly do where a cape and save the world ( the world in room 39). I thought that shepherding meant that I will attack any animal that comes after my flock and I will stay in a ready position to care for my flock at all times. What shepherding really is, is leaning into the true Shepherd and never forgetting that I am still a sheep in His field. Yes I am called to care for my sheep but not without the strength and provisions from MY SHEPHERD.

A little over a month ago I had my world shaken and I found out what my “cape” can really do. One of my worst fears had happened. I lost one of my precious students in a shooting. He was my child. MY child. One of my sheep. The moment I got the call I ran to my room to get changed to go to the hospital. Before I left, I got down on the carpet, flat on my face and prayed to God. I cried out to my Father, pleading for Him to save my baby. “God if not I know you are still good, but God please let it be your Will. Let this be a mighty testimony of you. God let my baby grow up and preach the gospel and proclaim your goodness. Let this be a testimony that Isiah is able to speak to bring others to know your goodness and love.” I sent those words straight up to heaven with everything I had in me.

I drove to the hospital and prayed. I then shifted from a ball of tears to the rage of a mother who has seen another animal attack her young. My only concern was getting to my child. I went all over that hospital looking for the one room that had my child. As a nurse was walking my through the halls, I got the call that he didn’t make it. When I finally got to his family he was already gone and they were allowing family members to go in the room and kiss him goodbye. I walked in that room that night and saw his sweet big forehead and kissed him goodbye. I wept and I weep as I type those words.

The only time that I wear a cape is when I am Miss Strickland. In that moment, I was Miss Strickland, but I knew I wasn’t wearing a cape. Super Hero Miss Strickland who can always turn the frown to a smile, or can get out a Batman or Trolls Band- Aid and it immediately heals the wound, couldn’t fix this problem. I was powerless and I couldn’t take this hurt away. Not only could I not save Isiah but I couldn’t save the rest of my children that I had to tell what happened. I knew that I was going to have to look into the eyes of his best friend, who was already writing him letters and getting all of his stuffed animals prepared for when he was going to see him, and tell him that he passed away and went home to Jesus. I couldn’t fathom how I would even have the strength to stand or have the ability to get the words out of my mouth. Yet the strength came, and the words were there, but not because of Miss Strickland. God, of course, showed up on His white horse and saved the day. He gave an abundance of super natural peace and strength. True strength that never could come close to the strength I have of just being Miss Strickland.

Eric Church says that “every super man has his kryptonite…”. This is true. Every super man does, and every teacher does have their kryptonite because we aren’t Jesus. I am not invincible. I am a human with a heart and emotions. The only reason I had super natural peace and strength to talk to my kids the next day and the many days that followed is because of Jesus. The job I do requires Jesus. I needed the reminder that there is only but so far Miss Strickland can go and there is only but so much I can do. With Jesus there is no limit to what He can do.

A lot of times we think that we know exactly how the story should go. We like to believe that we know more than God does. We think that the only way to see God’s glory is in the saving. It is hard for us to believe that God’s glory can be in what we lost. I know that in my little mind I cannot comprehend the “why?” of all of this happening. I was never created to understand the “why?” I was created to worship my Father and to trust knowing that He is who He says He is and can do what He says He can do. God isn’t limited by our minds. I prayed that night before I got to the hospital that God’s will be done. I prayed that Isiah would make it and IF NOT God is still good.

I have been doing a Beth Moore Study on the book of Daniel for months now and I have read this story that I am about to share so many times but the “IF NOT…” now takes on a whole new meaning.  In the book of Daniel, KingNebuchadnezzar told every one to worship the golden image that he had set up and if not they would be thrown in the fiery furnace. Well, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego did not bow down and worship the king. Here is their response “If this be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But if not, be it known to you, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up.” Daniel 3:17-18

To put it simply, our God is Sovereign. He can do anything. With that power to do anything we have to trust Him even with our “but if not”. We have to trust that He works everything out for our good even if the outcome isn’t what WE had envisioned. In the Beth Moore Daniel study, Beth Moore said it like this “Three scenarios when we face trials:  Scenario A: We can be delivered from the fire. ( Our faith is built.) Scenario B: We can be delivered through the fire. ( Our faith is refined.) Scenario C: We can be delivered by the fire into His arms. (Our faith is perfected.)” No matter what the scenario is, we are always guaranteed that the 4th man will show up in the fire with us. ( That is a promise!)

“And these three men, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, fell bound into the burning fiery furnace. Then King Nebuchadnezzar was astonished and rose up in haste. He declared to his counselors, “Did we not cast three men bound into the fire?” They answered and said to the king, “True, O king.” He answered and said, “But I see four men unbound, walking in the midst of the fire, and they are not hurt; and the appearance of the fourth is like a son of the gods.” Then Nebuchadnezzar came near to the door of the burning fiery furnace; he declared, “Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, servants of the Most High God, come out, and come here!” Then Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego came out from the fire. And the satraps, the prefects, the governors, and the king’s counselors gathered together and saw that the fire had not had any power over the bodies of those men. The hair of their heads was not singed, their cloaks were not harmed, and no smell of fire had come upon them.” Daniel 3:23-27

No matter the outcome, I know the true cape, and power resides in my God. The promise that God reminded me of through all of this is that His Presence forever goes before me and fights for me. God always is for me, not against me. My God has always showed up on time, even if on time isn’t MY TIME. No matter how hot the flames get, I will come out on the other side wrapped in His glory because He came. Even with the story of Lazarus we see that Jesus received the news about Lazarus being sick and He stayed where He was two extra days. He STAYED.

“So the sisters sent word to Jesus, “Lord, the one you love is sick.” When he heard this, Jesus said, “This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified through it.” Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So when he heard that Lazarus was sick, he stayed where he was two more days, and then he said to his disciples, “Let us go back to Judea.””

Luke 11: 3-7

Jesus loved Lazarus. Jesus loved Martha and Mary. In our minds it is hard for us to wrap our thoughts around why Jesus didn’t immediately get to Lazarus when He got the news. Jesus answers the why immediately after He got the news. He said “No, it is for God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified through it.” I can’t explain why terrible things happen except to say that this is a sin- dead world, hence the reason Jesus came to save us.  I can’t explain why it had to be my baby that was shot but what I can say with assurance is that I don’t have to know why I just have to know that the end is not death. In the end, God will get all the glory because I am certain that I will see God move on my behalf and every bit of my soul will sing of His glory!

“When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. “Where have you laid him?” he asked. “Come and see, Lord,” they replied. Jesus wept. Then the Jews said, “See how he loved him!” Luke 11:32-36

Just like Mary, we all know our God is the God who saves, but when it isn’t what we had in mind we loose heart. We forget in the pain that our Jesus is still for us and that He sees us and that He weeps with us. Jesus is just as moved to tears as we are. His tears aren’t out of despair and hopelessness. They are tears of a Father that has a heart that is moved by His children. I know this not only because God’s Word says it, but because I have felt it. God has wept with me. In the moments where I wanted to believe that God didn’t come and He didn’t show up to heal my baby, God has wept with me and showed me just where He was in every moment. God weeps with me and He also weeps with you. We have these testimonies in God’s Word to sustain us when we are walking through a hard season. If Jesus would have showed up when Mary and Martha first sent word to Him then we wouldn’t have this testimony and promise of the abundance of Life after death. Immediate healing for Lazarus wasn’t the testimony Jesus knew that we would need. The testimony that we needed was the one that is written. Sometimes the easiest ending isn’t the best. It isn’t about us. It is about us being willing to let God move in our pain for others to see more of Him. 

Yes, all teachers and even mothers, and fathers have a cape in the eyes of our children, but the real power doesn’t come from a title or a cape. The same power that rose Jesus from the grave is the same power that resides in us. I am able to teach because my strength isn’t in my cape, it is and will always be in my God. God is my Savior and not only is He mine, but He is also Isiah’s. In Hebrew, the name Isiah means God is my Savior. God surely saved my baby, and just incase I ever had doubts, God made sure that the day Isiah was born he was given his heavenly name that would forever serve as a reminder that God was always and is always his Savior.

The Promise: “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Psalm 73:26

My prayer for you : I pray that through these words you find healing. I pray you find strength in the surrender. Surrender to what is unseen. Trust Jesus with your heart, with your family, your kids, your sickness, your life, with everything. His Word is full of promises. Promises that are kept and confirmed by a covenant. God is faithful to do what He said He would do. Jesus has always proven Himself to be faithful.  I pray you read these words and you are reminded of the reckless love of Jesus. Jesus has never stopped pursuing your heart. He sees you and longs to carry your burdens and speak life to your dry bones. I pray Psalm 73:26 over you. I pray you come to the fullness of this truth. I pray that where your flesh and heart have failed, God picks you you up, strengthens your bones, renews your heart, and reminds you that He is your provision forever. He is who we can ALWAYS depend on. 

 

 

Opendoor is Home

Today marked a monumental day for those who call Opendoor Church home. Next Sunday we will enter into a new building. A BIGGER building. A Bigger building is not meant to point that we are growing in numbers, it is meant to point at the faithfulness of our God.

“In the summer of 1976, Greg Kennedy and his wife Deana moved to Greenville, North Carolina, to pastor a church plant. In the summer of 1986, God began to stir a vision within Greg’s heart that could only be accomplished by God. That vision led to the birth of Opendoor Church on October 5, 1986. In 2015, Aaron Kennedy, Greg and Deana’s son, officially became the Lead Pastor of Opendoor Church. Since 1986, Opendoor has seen tremendous growth and impact in the community under Greg and Deana’s leadership and now the baton has passed to the next generation.”

To view the video of the whole story visit : http://opendoorchurch.com/about/our-story

Pastor Greg was given a God sized dream that was bigger than himself. For years him and Pastor Deana have stewarded the vision that God so beautifully gave. Because of their obedience to walk faithfully in what God had said, God has done what He does best, which is the miraculous. No, I haven’t been at Opendoor all of my life. No, I haven’t been with Opendoor since the start or walked with them through every season, but even in just the 5 years that I have attended Opendoor, I have been forever changed.

During our last service yesterday in our old building we were pressed to reflect. You couldn’t help but feel the draw of the Holy Spirit on your heart to look back on all that God had done in you, in that place. I was brought to tears every time I looked around. I could see every prayer. I could see every word God had said. I could see the hope that was restored and the healing that took place. I could see the tears on the altar that I had shed. I could see the friends sitting beside me, and the ones not with me, that God had brought to me through being at Opendoor. I could see the moment I lifted my hands and released my dad into the hands of Jesus. I could see the morning that I got baptized. I could see my Pastors and mentors that have prayed over me and poured into my life. I could see the first Renew happening over again, where a room full of women were passionately singing to the throne of Jesus. I could see the friends who came to know the Lord and then went on to get baptized. I could see my first Sunday back at Opendoor after moving back from South Carolina. I remember the Lord saying then, in that service, that not only was I back to build a ministry but I was also back to serve this one. I could see the faces of my pastors, and friends, and my spiritual mentors, who have stayed by my side through losing my dad this past year. They were the people that prayed for His heart to meet Jesus one day. They are the people who have so graciously poured words of wisdom into my heart during this time of grieving. These people are a gift. God knew at every turn and curve that my life would take, these people would be apart of His promise that He never leaves me nor forsakes me. These people are what God has used to show me His glory.

Opendoor, not only for me, but for many, is home. It one of the biggest reasons I call Greenville home. The people that have become family. The place where God wrecked my heart, and called me out of who the world wanted me to be. I don’t praise a building and the glory isn’t given to my pastors because the praise is all God’s. It always has been God’s and forever will be His.

This is just one story of how God took the least-likely, the girl who wasn’t bold enough in her faith to step out in a calling that God had placed on her life many years before, and made her a new creation. I never saw it in myself, but God placed people in that church to call it out in me. Jesus gave people His eyes and His Spirit so that they could see me and call things out in me that He saw and He wanted spoken. Opendoor, to me, is home. I don’t love my church because it is a place that makes me feel good. I love it because it is the house of the Lord filled with His loving presence and all surpassing glory, with His beautiful people that passionately and unashamedly worship Jesus. 

Today we reflect so that we may never forget all He has done, and so that we stay faithful for the abundantly more that He is about to do! I am forever grateful that God led me to this church! My prayer for this blog is that you don’t see Opendoor, but you see what God can do. I pray you see what God does when you dream and walk obediently in something that is bigger than yourself. To the world it make look crazy, but when it is crazy it is Jesus. No story in the Bible was normal. No story was one you could imagine on your own. Manna didn’t have to fall from the skies. God knew the Israelites needed food in the wilderness. God knew that they were going to be hungry. Wouldn’t it have been easier if He just put the bread in nice picnic baskets and set it out for the Israelites to eat? It would have been easier, but you and I can set out picnic baskets. The theme through out the Word is that God does what we can’t do. He goes where we can’t go. He is full of wonder and glorious power. The testimony is that the Israelites never could doubt where the bread came from! It only could have been from God because of the way that God sent it.

The story could have always been easier or different, but it wasn’t! The story of Abraham and Isaac also comes to mind when I think of crazy stories in the bible. God had made a promise to Abraham. Abraham finally received a son! After receiving this blessing of a son named Isaac, God asked something of Abraham that seemed CRAZY! “1Now it came about after these things, that God tested Abraham, and said to him, “Abraham!” And he said, “Here I am.” 2He said, “Take now your son, your only son, whom you love, Isaac, and go to the land of Moriah, and offer him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains of which I will tell you.” 3So Abraham rose early in the morning and saddled his donkey, and took two of his young men with him and Isaac his son; and he split wood for the burnt offering, and arose and went to the place of which God had told him.” Genesis 22:1-3 

Abraham was asked to sacrifice a promise that he had received from God. Yet, Abraham walked faithfully. Isaac saw that his father had gathered wood and stuff to make a fire, but he didn’t see where the lamb was for the sacrifice, so he asked him where it was. The response from Abraham was beautiful. He told his son that the Lord will provide the sacrifice! The story ends with Abraham taking the knife and just about to sacrifice his son when the angels stop him and provided a ram in the thicket for him to use! You can ask why did God have to do it this way? Why did He test Abraham in such a scary way? The answer I have is so that we can always stand on the truth that “The Lord Will Provide”. God gives us task that are absolutely bigger than ourselves and bigger than anything our human bodies can do without the empowerment of Him. He does it this way so that we can never sing of ourselves. We can never look and say ” I did that!” No it is so that we can sing that our God has always been faithful to provide and always will be!

Opendoor is a testament to just how faithful our God is to provide even in a vision that doesn’t seem possible. All the glory and honor to the God Most High. I am honored and privileged to be called His daughter. Thank you Jesus for these many blessings that you have out poured from Opendoor Church!

-Love a woman who is passionately after the Heart of Jesus

Through Jesus and a dog named America

For as long as I can remember I have always wanted a Golden Retriever. I think this dream of having a dog that was a golden retriever started at a young age when I watched  the movie “Homeward Bound” over and over and over. Shadow, the golden retriever in the movie, was always so wise and regal and caring. He was such a loyal dog that was put on the earth solely to bring love to his owner, Peter. I thought that all golden retrievers would be just like Shadow. I thought they all were majestic and regal and calm. A little over a year ago, God granted me with the opportunity to get a golden retriever. It wasn’t the typical and ideal situtation to getting a dog, but it was the way I felt God was wanting me to go. You see, at that point in my life I was still living in an apartment and I lived a good 35 min from the school I teach at. In order to get a golden retriever right then I would have to let my dad take care of it until I could get a house with a back yard. This was going to work out great because my dad would be getting to do something for me that only he could do , which at that point we both desperately needed that in our relationship.

In order to understand how the Lord used a dog for His good and His glory I have to give you a glimpse at what my dad and I were walking in up to this point.

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My dad had struggled for years with drinking. It had gotten worse after my granny had passed away. Daddy lived a life that has had me question for years if he would ever go to heaven. Daddy was hard headed. I can say that because I am to and any of you who knew him would say that straight to him. Daddy would only let so much in. I was his daughter and I only knew but so much. Daddy also had zero patience and thought he knew all. Granny and I would joke with daddy when he was sick and tell him that he should have been a doctor because he knew so much. See if daddy was sick with a cold or sore throat he would just say “oh it was the cold air that got it. I don’t need any medicine.” He clearly always had his PHD. I am sure we can all say that daddy had his way of doing things and wasn’t up for change. Obviously I got my stubbornness from him. We would but heads because honestly I was more like my daddy than I thought. With all of that I wondered how could he ever let Jesus the great physician, the healer, our redeemer, our rock, our salvation, be Lord of His life. How could daddy ever get to the point to know that he can’t actually do it all by himself? How would daddy ever be able to say that someone knows more than he does?  These questions burdened my heart for years. Everyone knew the man who loved people and wore a smile everywhere he went. We all knew the man who would cut up, and joke, and laugh with the best of them. I got to see all of that to but I also saw a man that had an illness behind closed doors.

The devil held a tight grip on daddy. To me it is obvious why the enemy kept such a tight grip on daddy. Daddy had a great heart. In the Bible it always talks about the heart. King David in the bible was famous for being a man after God’s own heart. In Samuel 16:7 it says “People look at outward appearance but the Lord looks at the heart.” God wants your heart because you can’t deny what is in it. God wanted daddy’s heart because He knew the moment daddy set himself aside and let God lead, oh the work that would be done for the Kingdom of God. Daddy chose for years to ignore his addiction. Even though alcohol stole who my dad was I could still see the genuine heart of Jesus in him. Despite arguments and pain that was brought on from my dad being taken over by alcohol I still saw the man that everyone loved. It was just a very broken man. it hurt me to watch my dad who loved people, and loved to call people just to see how they were doing. Daddy went to the quick stop every morning just to talk to the morning regulars or “the democrats” as he would call them. Through the years and through the quick stop morning trips or other random places my dad would go he made friends with people who just needed one friend. He always talked about a man he knew that had cancer and he would go pick him up and drive him places. After granny was released from the nursing home and even after granny passed away daddy would still go to the nursing home she stayed at just to talk to all of those residents. He sometimes would take some of the elderly women flowers during different holidays just to brighten their day. If daddy had cash in his pocket he would give it to me to get gas, even though I knew he needed it more than I did. The last time he gave me money he said “ I just wish I could do more.”

You see daddy always wanted to do more but in his physical body he couldn’t get past the lies of the enemy telling him he wasn’t enough. Daddy wanted to go to church to be with the Senior men’s Sunday school class. I would invite him and he would say yes and tell me what time he would meet me there and never come. Daddy would get so close to going and the enemy would again feed him the lie that “ how could church accept someone with this problem?”

With burden on my heart about my dad’s salvation I held myself responsible for Him coming to know the know the Lord. This meant that I would answer the phone when it was painful to hear my dad in a different mindset. As the drinking got worse it was harder for me to answer phone. Sometimes the conversations were nice and others not so nice. I was left feeling broken because all I wanted was for my dad to get better and to just be my dad again. I was having to act like the adult, when I was the child. I begin building up a wall against my dad because I was afraid of getting hurt. I didn’t know when the conversation would be normal or when he would be drinking. Every morning that I talked to my dad he would always end the conversation with ” I love you. Let me if there is something I can do for you.” In all honesty I was scared to depend on my dad to do something for me because I didn’t want to get hurt. My dad began to feel the wall that I had built up. He knew it was because of his drinking whether he would say it or not. I knew he was upset with himself about it but just didn’t know how to stop. At this point of peak brokeness in both of our lives God made the debut of a dog named America to the scene. 

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The day I saw that a women was selling golden retriever puppies near me I immediately called my dad. I asked daddy if I got a dog would he help me take care of it until I got a house. In a very natural Steve manner he said “Hell Yeah get the whole litter of them!” So with a yes from daddy I went and got a dog. Without question I knew exactly what his name would be. My sweet little blonde haired sleepy puppy would be America. (He quickly grew out of the sleepy phase) America, not knowing it yet was the start of a new season for my dad and I. America was never designed by Jesus to just be a normal dog that would just make me happy. America is far from normal. He is 85 pounds of pure love and energy. He goes 100mph and doesn’t slow down even when he wants attention. America was made to be a blessing and to be used for healing. My dad longed to do something for me. Anyone who knew my dad knew that Jake and I were his world. He lived for us. As Jake and I got older it was hard for daddy because he just wanted to be needed. Daddy needed a purpose for living now that granny had passed and he wasn’t taking care of her and Jake and I are grown now and moved away with jobs. Daddy also longed to be loved. America fit the perfect mold because that is all America wants to give and will do anything to give it!

America was my dad’s new purpose. It would have been much easier if we would have just bought my dad a dog for himself and called it a day but that was never God’s plan. It wasn’t just about daddy getting company it was about healing a relationship. With America being with my dad it made dad happier because he knew I trusted him with something that I cared about so much. I couldn’t have gotten a dog if it weren’t for daddy and daddy knew that. Daddy got the gift to do something meaningful for his daughter that no one else could do. I had to call daddy a lot to get him to take America to vet appointments and to the groomers. Daddy had to give him baths and go pick up food at Petsmart for him, that I had ordered. When I would go home daddy’s house would be the first place I would go because America would be there. We finally had common ground. In those moments of being home and spending time at daddy’s we grew closer. He would share random things with me that he either read in a book, the Bible, or saw a clipping in the newspaper about Jesus. Daddy knew I loved Jesus and he knew I wanted him to love Jesus. Because of America I got to see those random moments of Jesus making an imprint on daddy’s heart.

On December 24th 2016, God told me that this year would be a year of healing. He gave me these verses from Isaiah 57:14-21 (MSG version)

“A Message from the high and towering God,
who lives in Eternity,
whose name is Holy:
“I live in the high and holy places,
but also with the low-spirited, the spirit-crushed,
And what I do is put new spirit in them,
get them up and on their feet again.
For I’m not going to haul people into court endlessly,
I’m not going to be angry forever.
Otherwise, people would lose heart.
These souls I created would tire out and give up.
I was angry, good and angry, because of Israel’s sins.
I struck him hard and turned away in anger,
while he kept at his stubborn, willful ways.
When I looked again and saw what he was doing,
I decided to heal him, lead him, and comfort him,
creating a new language of praise for the mourners.
Peace to the far-off, peace to the near-at-hand,” says God—
“and yes, I will heal them.
But the wicked are storm-battered seas
that can’t quiet down.
The waves stir up garbage and mud.
There’s no peace,” God says, “for the wicked.”

Through years and years of praying for my dad 2017 was the year my dad got saved. My dad was the crushed in spirit but God put a new Spirit in Him. God had me write beside these verses in my bible “ The promise of God that daddy will come home to Jesus God has His eye on daddy and loves him.” Before 2017 I knew God wanted to do something that only He could do in mine and daddy’s heart. God began a work in my heart to release my dad into the arms of Jesus. Through Jesus and a dog-named America, my dad came to know the Lord this year. I don’t know when and I don’t know the specific place and time but it happened. I prayed for years “God can I please see it happen? Can I be there for that beautiful moment when He makes peace with you and makes you Lord over His life?” I didn’t get to see it in the flesh because I got way better than that. In late July I was at a church and the worship pastor said I feel like someone in here needs to just release. I knew that word was for me. I had released forgiveness but I had yet to release my dad to the Lord. I held the burden that I was going to lead him to the Lord and if I didn’t then I failed. That isn’t how it works. God does it all and I got the privilege to be a mouth peace for many years. I needed to have faith that God would do what He said He would do. As I stood in that church service I lifted my hands to God and surrendered my dad to the Lord. The Lord gave me a vision in that moment. It was very quick but very real. I can still see it if I shut my eyes. In the vision I saw my dad clothed in white and being lifted up to the Lord. It was that moment where I received the peace my heart had longed for. I knew my dad’s heart and I just wanted so bad for him to get out of the worries of the world that he was in. I see all of his heart and all of his gifts of the Lord. I had seen a man that was crushed by the world and didn’t know how to come back from the strong hand of the enemy being on him. But at that moment I could see that all of the other mess of the world didn’t matter because sooner or later daddy would make a choice whether I would see it or not, to believe in the Lord.

I write all of this because daddy was never able to give his testimony. He was never able to triumph over the enemy and allow the Lord to get all the glory in His life. Well God of course got the last laugh, as He always does, because the grip of sin isn’t on daddy any longer and he was taken up to be with Jesus on Tuesday October 24th, 2017. Not only does daddy’s death give God the glory, but everything leading up to that moment gives God the glory. Daddy might not have been able to see it all but I sure do. In Revelation 12:11 it says“ They triumphed over Him by the blood of the Lamb and the word of there testimony…” It didn’t say that they survived the grip of the enemy but triumphed! I wouldn’t be doing my daddy justice if I allowed the enemy to spend one extra second over His life. Daddy has finally triumphed over the enemy because of the blood of Jesus and now because of his testimony being told!

Praise God Most High for giving life, and life more abundantly! My dad forever gets to be in heaven all because of God’s faithfulness and a dog named America.

 

-love the mother of America and daughter of the Most High God

 

 

 

A season of wondering in the wilderness

Automatically when you read the word wilderness, if you anything like me, that word didn’t settle well with you. Imagine Jesus telling you ” hey sweet child, the season your about to walk in is the wilderness.” Still even with Jesus speaking it, it still doesn’t sound good to me. When I think about wilderness I think: wondering, lost, a lot of walking bears, trees, weather, wide open space, lonely, desolate, camping, survival, and above all no coffee or showers. When Jesus spoke wilderness I was not pumped and I was scared. I’m like Jesus please I beg you don’t make me go. I mean what I remembered about the Israelites when they were in the wilderness it didn’t paint a good picture, but it is so funny how Jesus uses the least likely situation EVERY SINGLE TIME.

What is funny is at the beginning of this year I began a Beth Moore study on the Tabernacle. It has been a very extensive and life changing study. When I first purchased the study I thought it would be cool to learn about the tabernacle and its purpose behind it. What I didn’t connect the dots to at first was that the tabernacle was built and started in the wilderness…. aka the season Jesus was telling me I was stepping into.

What I thought was going to be a season of valleys and constant walking, was a season of complete blessing and faithfulness of the Lord. In the wilderness The Tabernacle was built. The Tabernacle was built so that the reconciliation process with our God could be started. We needed a way to get back into unity and relationship with our God since we were banished from the Garden. The Tabernacle is also called the dwelling place of the Lord. It is where The Presence of the Lord can actually live on this Earth . The Tabernacle was built by perfect design. Through every curtain rod and curtain, golden hook, post, frame, piece of fine linen, colors picked for curtains, Bronze, silver, gold, precious stones, people and so on the list goes… the Lord planned out every single last detail. There wasn’t one part that wasn’t of perfect design. It all served a purpose in order to point back to how good our God is.

Every item used to build the tabernacle was an offering from the Israelites, when the plundered the Egyptians. My favorite story about one of the items used in the tabernacle was the story of the mirrors. “They made the bronze basin and its bronze stand from the mirrors of the women who served at the entrance of the tent of the meeting” Exodus 38:8 Imagine being an Israelite leaving the only place you’ve ever called home to follow a man who is wanting to lead them to the Promise Land that the Lord has prepared for them but PLOT TWIST they have to first watch this guy part the Red Sea while they have the Egyptians right on their heels out to kill them. Then after watching the Red Sea Part and walking on dry land you immediately step into the wilderness. The unknown. The place that isn’t comfortable. The place where you have to trust fully in God or you wont survive. A place where you have zero control but on the other side if you are faithful you will see the land flowing with milk and honey. (personally I wouldn’t be so jazzed about just milk and honey. My promise land would be of coffee and ice cream but that’s just me.) I can’t imagine the journey and the feelings that they were feeling and also the feeling of just seeing just such mighty works of God in the midst of their fear and despair. As the Israelites stepped into the wilderness and they began on their journey the Lord finally dropped it on Moses that He was to build a tabernacle. Now just remember they are out in the wilderness so where are you going to find all the things you need in order to get the task done. Thank goodness we have a God who provides in every situation and not just provide but provide in abundance. The tabernacle was made from the offerings of the Israelites. They gave out of their own values and fleshly desires. Imagine being a woman in that time that had never seen their reflection in a mirror only through water could they see what they looked like. A mirror was something that showed worth. Only woman of class and wealth had mirrors but when they had plundered everything from the Egyptians these Israelite women were finally able to have a mirror! They could see what they looked like and yet when God laid it on their heart to give an offering to the Tabernacle they gave up something that their flesh highly valued, they gave till it hurt. Giving up that mirror wasn’t an easy task but they knew the Lord would bless them. Those mirrors that were a free will offering were used to make the Basin for washing of the Priests before they entered into the Tabernacle. It is such a Jesus thing that a place where you wash and are made clean is made from something that you see your true reflection in. If our goal is to be more and more like Jesus everyday, then the steps we take toward that is us giving up ourselves and what we want along with that. Giving up our mirror will bring us more gain than keeping it. Keeping the mirror allows us to just continue to look at ourselves where as giving up our mirror puts our image in the hands of Christ for Him to mold into something new and shaped by His mighty hands ” For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. ” Philippians 1:21

My wilderness has been just like the wilderness the Israelites went through. Teaching my kids this year was a challenge. It was a new group and a new learning experience for me. I truly stepped into unknown territory where the only way I could survive was full dependence upon the Lord.

• I did not build a tabernacle during my wilderness season but because of the Lord I was able to build long lasting relationships with my students. They will forever know how loved they are by Miss Strickland.
• I did not give up freewill offerings like gold, silver, or mirrors to build a tabernacle,  but I did give up my plans of how I wanted to teach or how I wanted to react to troubling situations and gave it over to Lord in order for Him to use it how He had it designed to be.
• I did not have actual manna come down from the heavens but the Lord was my portion and my manna every single day that I went to work. He was and IS everything that I cannot be. In those moments where I was up to my eyeballs in expectations, needy children, and deadlines the Lord came over me and allowed me to operate in grace when I felt like I had nothing left to give. If I was going to shepherd my sheep well, and with all the diligence of a shepherd then I had to lean on the one who is the true Shepherd.
• I did not step into an actual Elim (oasis)  with 70 palm trees and 12 springs of water this year, but I did step into many blessing that my God had prepared for me along the way. My Elim was getting my house, spending every Tuesday Night with my best friends and other young adults who were ready to worship and pursue the heart of Jesus, having quiet time with Jesus every morning and learning how loved I am by my Father, and having my students beg for me to play the song Every Praise By Hezekiah Walker just so we could all sing along to it together.

The wilderness was always meant for preparation and a way for me to see time and time again just how marvelous and faithful my God is. The wilderness season was meant to teach me that what was being built in the wilderness was me. The tabernacle was always designed to be a tent because it is moveable, just like we are. It was always designed with intricate details, just like we are. It was always designed to be a holy place where the Lord can dwell, just like we are, but we are only a holy place because of Who God is not because of who we are. This is why in the Bible it says our body is a temple. It is sacred. Because of Jesus dying and depositing the Holy Spirit within us, we are now the dwelling place of the Lord. We are the instruments used to bring people closer to the heart of God. It doesn’t matter if our tent is set up in the wilderness, on the beach, or outside in the parking lot at Sam Jones BBQ, it is to always bring glory to the Lord. Thankfully my tent was pitched in Room 39 another year and yet again the Lord left me in awe of His glory.

No matter what season the Lord has you in remember that WHO dwells within you is much more powerful than the circumstances that surround you. God is just taking us from glory to glory! We just have to trust Him enough to let HIM LEAD us there!

-love a women in soul pursuit of Jesus

Here is just a glimpse of what my Elim looks like. My Oasis in the midst of the wilderness wasn’t ever about where I was it was always an Oasis because of who was there doing life with me!

If it is crazy then you know it is Jesus

October 12th 2016 marked one year that I have been a teacher. As all teachers are programmed to do, I reflected on my past year and 2 months of being a teacher. The best way I can describe being a new teacher is comparing it to a man trying to climb Mount Everest in his bare feet, backwards, in the dead cold of winter, carrying a 500 pound cow on his back that moo’s every 5 seconds, while trying to heard a pack of llamas up with you. The task seems nearly impossible. To everyone else you look 10000% insane for even attempting to sign up and stuck to the this mission. No one understands why you would choose it or how you would make it possible to do.

Luckily for me I haven’t had to take on this mission alone. Thank the Lord in Heaven He has been there for me every backwards step I take up the mountain with my 500 pond cow and pack of llamas. (obviously this is one of my crazy metaphors I don’t really work with cows and llamas)

My my first year of teaching, leading into my second year has been one of the craziest and hardest experiences I have ever gone through in my life. The late nights staying at school after everyone has left, having a calendar full of meetings and due dates and deadlines and testing schedules, trying to learn a list of acronyms that is longer than the Bible, making lessons and worksheets that are designed to specifically meet the needs of each of my students, planning a party for every holiday, hearing your name over 100,345,897 times a day, running off of no sleep, going to sleep thinking about ways to help your kids and waking up thinking what you could have done differently, having my sleep habits look the same as that of a 95 year old woman, learning how to love 20 different children and their personalties, getting use to the never ending emails and questions, figuring out how to rearrange the desks of my students so I don’d start a World War 4 in my room, learning how to get use to being around throw up and not throwing up yourself, and so on the list goes of all the craziness I have gone through as a first year teacher.

As crazy as it is and how overwhelmed I feel a lot of days I have many people outside of my profession, and even myself sometimes question why do I stay in this profession? Why do I continue to do a job that feels like I am going against the grain a lot of days? I have one simple answer:

Because of Jesus. It is all for Jesus.

On the days I feel like I am just not sure if I can even make it to Friday, I stay because of Jesus. Most the time in our world today people like to think that if it is hard and it’s causing then it can’t be what Jesus is calling you to. It is true that Jesus loves you and wants to bless you but along with that He also wants us to grow. He also wants others to come to know His love. How can people come to know His immense love if all we go through is nothing but rainbows an butterflies? They will never know His amazing grace and His immense power that is within His people if we don’t go through the hard times with Jesus. Our life is to be on display for Him. We are a canvas for Him to paint a picture of just how sweet His love is for us.

“So he got up from the supper table, set aside his robe, and put on an apron. Then he poured water into a basin and began to wash the feet of the disciples, drying them with his apron.” John 13: 1-2 Just like Jesus He told me to follow by His example. I have to take of my robe ( a.k.a my flesh and my own world thoughts and desires) and put on my apron (a.k.a my servants heart that denies myself and pursues what Jesus has called me to do).

I can not say that every time I am having a hard day at school that I leave and feel like I can praise His name for everything that was hard that day. My flesh wants to do the complete opposite of praise. Somedays I want to keep on my robe, which is what feels easy, instead of putting on my apron. I want to complain and let others hear my whiny complaints and make me feel like I am justified to continue to pout about how hard it is and how I feel like I am not enough for this job. But thank you JESUS for placing the Holy Spirit with me always. At the end of my complaining, I am hit with Truth, Truth that puts me at Peace because I know that I am fully protected in Jesus. I know that my GOD goes Before me and has already won the battle. (Dueteronomy 31:8)  I know that My God is my strength, my shield, and my refuge.(Psalm 46:1, Psalm 91:2, Psalm 18:2) I know that the same power that rose Jesus from the grave lives with in me. ( Romans 8:11) I know that my God is present among me and is a strong warrior that is here to save me. (Zephaniah 3:16) I know that the pain I feel can’t compare to the joy that is coming. (Romans 8:18)  I know that God has called me to this holy work. (2 Timothy 1:8-9) 

I know all of these things because of the Holy Spirit and what He speaks to my heart. Once I know the Truth and speak it out loud I can rest at Peace. But it is only if I lift up His praise when the attitude of my heart changes. Every bit of what I do looks crazy and feels crazy most days. I know that when it is crazy it is Jesus. Think about all the stories in the Bible. Each one of them is crazy, and each one of them points to Jesus. Saul (Paul) was a man who murdered Christians and then Jesus stopped him in His tracks one day and changed his heart. He then was given a new name and identity in Christ (Paul), and wrote most of the New Testament and He spent the rest of His life preaching the Word of God. Another crazy story was the story  of Daniel. There was a law that was passed that they could not worship God and what did Daniel do? He went to do His quiet time and He didn’t go hide in His closet to do it, He sat in front of an open window for others to see him pray. The king threw Daniel in the Lions Den and said lets see your God save you now. And what did God do… He shut the mouths of lions and Daniel walked out alive from the Lions Den. These are just two of the many stories that are in the Word that speak about the craziness of God. God isn’t crazy but He is crazy in love with me. My God loves me and cares for me and if He has placed me in room 39 to teach, no matter how inadequate  I feel with the list of many demands as a teacher, then teaching is what I will do.

I have always been a firm believer in living a life full of sparkles and butterflies and sunshine and rainbows. Through this past year I have learned that I can always have my sunshine filled world but there are times that God is going to call me out of that world just for a short amount of time because He wants to take me deeper in His love. He gave me a word this morning that was so good to my soul. God said “How do you know I can provide for you in every way if I never put you in situations or places where you need my in every way?” I will forever be thankful for Jesus taking me on this crazy journey because all I have learned is that My God is beyond amazing and His love is so good and sweet to my soul.

Colossians 3:23 says “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters…” I am called to work with a joyful heart, and know that no matter the struggles, I am doing it all for the Glory of the Lord. Above all of the testing, Progress Monitoring, Report Cards, Progress Reports, Meetings, Acronyms, and much more, my ultimate job is to love my kids and love them well. The rest of it God with grace me with the strength and ability to get it all done.

So keep climbing up your mountain, in the cold, with your 500 pound cow and pack of llamas in your bare feet, teachers, because in the end it is all for Jesus and that makes the crazy ride all worth it! Praise Jesus!

-love a teacher who is madly in love with her Heavenly Father

 

Cheers to year two serving Jesus in Greene County with my Best Friend!

Who are you in the race? Mary or Martha?

Now before you start thinking that the blog is going to be about running and exercising… let me go ahead and tell you it is not.

I am talking about the race of everyday life. The race to get to work, the race to help this person, feed this child, see this friend and see that friend. The race to spend time in the Word before you have to move onto the next task of the day, the race get to church and then get home so you can get everything ready for the week ahead, the race to be on social media to stay in touch with everyone. The race feels like their is never a finish. It feels like you started off at 100 mph and instead of losing speed it is like you had to amp it up to 150 mph just to keep up with “The Jones'”.

If you are like me you feel like you started the race super excited, ready for what all the Lord is going to have you do! ( Now this clearly is all a metaphor because I am never excited to run to anything except a coffee line.) The “race” I am referring to is the Race you enter when you start your new life in Jesus Christ. It isn’t a race to get to Jesus it is just the track you head on in life. The track that has all kinds of curves and turns and many people on it with you. It is the only race I ever want to be in because I know in my very own strength I am not going to be able to run a long distance to save my life, but with Jesus working through me I can go any amount of distance. On this “race” with Jesus there are all kinds of people around you . Some that get tired and stop on the side and never keep going, some that keep the pace with you to encourage you along the way, some are ahead of you that will yell back words of encouragement or wisdom because they have already been through what is ahead on your race. It is an exciting “race”, but with any race and our human flesh we get tired and slow our pace.  We are running but not with the same excitement that we had when we first started. Some where along the way the devil told us that it is just too far and you just need to take a hot second for yourself, and worst part about it is we believe it. We believe it because we started thinking without Jesus in mind. We started thinking that we are really in a race and that we are exhausted and we just can’t do all that this life is pulling us to do.

I am here to tell you that this “race” isn’t easy! Yes we are with Jesus but we are still made with human flesh that falls short of the glory of GOD! The race is tiring! We are trying to sign up for everything because we are so passionate about the Lord and our whole being just wants to serve Him, but we are also signing up for everything on our flesh side that doesn’t bring us closer to Christ. We end up feeling exhausted and wondering how do I do this? How do I serve and also be filled? If you don’t ever feel like this and I am the only one that kudos to you! You are lucky! Press on! But for those that have ever felt like you are running and you don’t know how to take another step, I have come to encourage you!

For the past month I have been experience these very feelings. If anyone ever asks how I have been or what I have been up to I always say “Well I have just been running around like a chicken with my head cut off.” I say this because it perfectly describes how I feel most days. Most days I am okay with it. I am okay with being a little looney chicken with no head running around do all the things that I am called to do but on the days that I don’t seek Jesus that little chicken with no head runs into a light pole and doesn’t want to get up. When a few days goes by I can feel it in my spirit that I am tired but I continue to run because I know that Jesus has called me to this “race” with Him. Sure I can keep running because I have trained my body to never stop. I have trained my body that it must be a constant motor. It doesn’t know how to shut off. A constant motor + no time with Jesus= a weak spirit. You lose clarity when Jesus isn’t put on the Throne everyday of your life to be your hands and feet. It is a choice to be with Jesus everyday! That is the beautiful part of Jesus! He is Freedom! He lets us choose! He lets us come to Him! After a week of being busy and not having any quiet time with Jesus, you have allowed the devil to grab a foothold! He knows how to draw us into everything! Making it seem like we need to be apart of it all, leaving no time for Jesus. Before you know it two weeks have gone by and you have been in your bible only a couple of times but you gave Him no time to speak and fill you.

Two weeks lead to three and three leads to four. I know because I am guilty of it. You are probably thinking well the Lord understands and He will step in renew and refresh your spirit. Where you are right about that to a certain degree. Jesus will step in a renew your spirit and tell you that He loves you and forgives you for not giving Him anytime but that isn’t until you choose to recognize that you can’t run the “race” on your own without daily meeting with Him! This past month I have felt like I am running a race that isn’t what I signed up for. It felt like that because I didn’t sign up to run a race just for kicks and giggles, I signed up to be with JESUS! To allow JESUS to be my hands and feet! To allow Him to be my nourishment and water when my body is weak and doesn’t know how to go any farther.

You never want to get to a place where all that you are doing for the Lord feels like too much! I am not saying we shouldn’t ever be tired! WE should be tired but tired in the name of Jesus! Tired because we have chosen to do all of the things that the Lord has called us to!  The story from the Bible that Jesus used to lift this weight is the story of Mary and Martha. Both great women. Poor Martha gets a bad rep. but I do feel like we are all being Martha in this crazy busy technological world of ours.

Here is the story:

^38-40 As they continued their travel, Jesus entered a village. A woman by the name of Martha welcomed him and made him feel quite at home. She had a sister, Mary, who sat before the Master, hanging on every word he said. But Martha was pulled away by all she had to do in the kitchen. Later, she stepped in, interrupting them. “Master, don’t you care that my sister has abandoned the kitchen to me? Tell her to lend me a hand.”

^41-42 The Master said, “Martha, dear Martha, you’re fussing far too much and getting yourself worked up over nothing. One thing only is essential, and Mary has chosen it—it’s the main course, and won’t be taken from her.” Luke 10:38-42

Just like us, Martha loved the Lord. Martha wanted to do a good job for the Lord. Martha wanted everything to be great for Jesus because that is what she felt called to do. Martha was running the “race”. She was living her life for the Lord but she wasn’t allowing Jesus to be her Bread of Life. She wasn’t allowing Jesus to do His job which is far greater than what we feel like we can do for Him. Martha calls on her sister for help because in that moment she realizes all that she is trying to do for the Lord is not able to be complete alone. She recognizes her own strength isn’t enough. Martha continued to run around like a chicken with her head cut off and the she ran into the light pole.  Martha called out for help when she hit the light pole from her sister who is running the “race” beside her instead of accepting the hit up against the head as a sign from Jesus. Just like Martha, we fuss and we rush and we complain about all the things we have to do  rather than lift up praises to our Lord for allowing us to be apart of this “race” with Him. We forget to praise Him for seeing something in us that He wants to use to bring glory to His name! We look at our failure to do things that the Lord never called us to do apart from Him.

Then there is Mary. Mary, is also running the “race”. She is in this life for the long haul with Jesus. The difference is not that Mary loves Jesus more but that Mary recognizes the need for time with her Father. Mary knows that know amount of service that we sign up to do for Jesus will never amount up to what it means to just sit in the presence of Jesus and worship Him. Jesus is our manna! He is what nourishes our soul and makes us able to do all He has called us to! “Keep and live out the entire commandment that I’m commanding you today so that you’ll live and prosper and enter and own the land that God promised to your ancestors. Remember every road that God led you on for those forty years in the wilderness, pushing you to your limits, testing you so that he would know what you were made of, whether you would keep his commandments or not. He put you through hard times. He made you go hungry. Then he fed you with manna, something neither you nor your parents knew anything about, so you would learn that men and women don’t live by bread only; we live by every word that comes from God’s mouth. Your clothes didn’t wear out and your feet didn’t blister those forty years. You learned deep in your heart that God disciplines you in the same ways a father disciplines his child.” Deuteronomy 8:1-5

So get out there and run your “race” for Him! Run and never give up, but never forget why you are running! Never forget why you are busy or why you are having to be the chicken with you head cut off!  When life gets heavy, step back and look at what you are giving your time to ! If it is all for Jesus then He will give you the strength you need when you come to Him! You can choose to be busy, but you can also choose to be still in the presence of Jesus!

Jesus led a busy life! I mean hello He was Jesus! HE was the One, the Son of God, who came to save us all! He came to show us grace and immense love! People tugged at Jesus, left and right, to heal them, or save their family members, or to give a sermon that encouraged them. In the midst of the business and chaos, Jesus would do what? If you said He was up before the roosters in the morning to be with God then you would be correct. Jesus knew that the only way He could run the “race” His Father called Him to was to Be still in His presence everyday and receive the Peace and Love that God gives out!

That is so good to my soul! You are so beloved and so cherished! Don’t miss out on what God wants you apart of because you were too tired from trying to be apart of everything without any help from Jesus! He wants to use you because He sees something special in you ! Praise Jesus for that truth!

^1-3 Do you see what this means—all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we’d better get on with it. Strip down, start running—and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we’re in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he’s there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls!” Romans 12:1-3

AMEN!

-Love a Woman in Soul Pursuit of Jesus

Oh the Joys of serving the Lord and running the “race” with those who love them just as much as you do!

Our students are greater than a Green, Yellow, or Red Dot

To all of those teachers out there stressing about the Green, Yellow, and Red, Red, Red, Red, and more Red dots showing up on their i-pad, I have an encouraging word from Jesus for you!

We all know of that Orange little app that we must click on ever so often to pull up yet more data on our children, and to do more testing. It is a daunting app. It is like a little rain cloud that just sits on my i-pad staring me in the face, giving me that look like “come on girl you know you gotta open me at some point! Suck it up!” If you weren’t aware that apps had faces….. well they do. It wouldn’t be so terrible if the colors of the students levels didn’t feel like it all depended upon my efforts.

I am constantly running around like a chicken with my head cut off, printing different things that my students need to meet their individual needs, laminating games that I know they would love and would help them learn how to tell time, working on lessons on the weekends, and so on… I am constantly trying to do for my kids so that they can reach their God given potential. With all of my running around, and stressing the importance of comprehending what you R-E-A-D or learning how to L-I-S-T-E-N , I feel like maybe I am getting somewhere. You can only hope that everything you put in you are going to get out of it. The only thing I want for my students is to know how much I care for them and how far I know they can go in life!

When I click on my little orange app all of that hope of growth gets thrown in the trash. That hope that maybe you are making a difference, and maybe your students are actually making connections and using the reading strategies you taught them, get trampled on by one little color. Red. Red being the universal sign for stop is what I see. My sunshine and sparkles and Jesus filled heart feels crushed. I question my ability of being a good teacher. I ask myself “Am I really doing all I can to make these students succeed?”

The answer to that question came straight from Jesus today. The answer would be  “Yes my sweet daughter you are. You are doing all you can and all you are capable of. All you can do is trust in me to get them where they need to be in life.” The Lord also gave me truth on what I should see when I look at my screen of all the Green, Yellow and Red dots. Instead of looking at your inability, look at my ability to do more than you could ever imagine. What I am doing when I look at the color of the dot instead of the child,is creating a mental image that this student will never measure up. We see how far they have to go instead of looking at how far they have come!

So often in life we feel like we are the Green Yellow and Red Dots on the screen. Some have very strong relationships with God yet with that relationships we still have struggles it just isn’t apparent to everyone because they have set those on a pedestal that they are the par. They are what we shoot to be like. Thats the green. Then we have those who have a relationship but have gone through some hardships. Still have a relationship with Him but they are teeter tottering on that line of being all in or all out. That’s the Yellow. Then their are the Red. Those that have a constant struggle and nothing has ever come easy. They want to trust in Jesus but just don’t know how to trust when they have never had anything to trust in their whole life. In the eyes of the world these three colors seem to be three different categories of people, but in the eyes of Jesus they do not have a color dot beside their name. We are all covered in white because of the sins He washed away. (Side note find glory in seeing all the red because That special color is the same color of the blood of Jesus that washed our sins as white as snow!)

We are all equal in the eyes of Jesus. No one is closer to Him than the next person. Someone who in the world looks like a Green dot deep down is struggling with their faith, they might have it all with the world but they don’t have it all with the Lord. The yellow dot to the world is mediocre. They just fall in the middle and are just lucky to get by but deep down they are working and striving to be all that they can be in the Lord, but to everyone else it looks like they are going against the grain. Same with the Red. Everyone in the world sees “Not up to par.” They are set up to feel like they will never measure up. Thank the Lord for His grace where we are all given the same chance. With Jesus there is never a finish line to cross, or a ladder to climb to be worthy. We are already there. We are worthy because we try. We are worthy because every day we are washed in His grace and mercy and given another day to show His glory. We are worthy because of who we serve not what we do. We grow everyday to be like Him. Yes we pray to grow and be more like Him everyday, but to be like Him is an everyday walk. There is no ending point because we are not Jesus and we are not called to be perfect. ” For we all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Romans 3:23 God also doesn’t sort us by a level He calls us by name! “But now, O Jacob, listen to the LORD who created you. O Israel, the one who formed you says, “Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine.” Isaiah 43:1

When we open our little orange app lets follow by example that The Greatest Teacher of all set. Lets not categorize by level but call each student by name. Look at the heart of the student and the growth that student has made. Whether it is one level, or three levels of growth. Look at where they started and now where they are! There is growth there if you look below the water of the iceberg! Know that no matter what if you are trusting in God everyday, you are doing all you can do. Let your students feel that grace that Jesus allows us to feel everyday. That grace where we have no iniquities and no comparisons to others. It is a grace that reminds us only of the love of Jesus and that is the only thing that matters!! Not only should they feel that grace but you should feel it to! Accept it because it so freely flows from our Father. Accept the Grace knowing that you are sufficient enough in Him! You are doing exactly what the Lord has called you to do and that is to teach! The rest is in His hands.  Place your worth in Him not in the world! Praise Jesus for how AMAZING He is!!

Cheers my teacher friends to the almost start of EOY! May the force be with you and the odds be ever be in your favor 🙂 ( if you live under a rock and don’t know movies, yes that is a quote from Star Wars and Hunger Games combined)

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 

ALL THE GLORY TO JESUS!

-love a teacher in soul pursuit of Jesus

Why it is okay to be the one that is always late

I am that friend. The one that is always late. It never fails ….I am forever late. I am late to bible study, to church, to meeting up with friends, to dinner, or for any assigned time for that matter. I am always running behind. You can ask any person in my life and they will justify that I win the trophy for being ” that late friend”.

Let me explain the type of breed that the “late friend” is: 1. They are super talkative and loves to socialize with everyone 2. They are people pleasers 3. They are doers 4. They are constantly on the go 5. Their car looks like they live in it 6. Breakfast usually consists of something that is from a box 7. They are passionate 8. They are more than likely a tad ADD  or if you are like me you do not fall on just the tad side of ADD 9. Their job requires them to plan out everything 10. They were born to be late 11. It never fails that when they walk in the door they always have an extravagant story to tell about why they are late. 12. Our internal clock is a positive over estimator 13. The statement that is given that says “I am passing Food Lion be there in 10” really means I am still in line at Dunkin Doughnuts

What people don’t understand about us late breed people is that we ( we meaning all of us who join together who can say they are that late friend) have good intentions of being on time. We really do try to be somewhere at the time that we said that we would be. We set multiple alarms, we rush, we don’t do our hair just so that it will give us extra time to get to the place we are trying to be at, and we have mini pep talks with ourself about how today will be the day that we make it before everyone else does. In the midst of our good intentions things happen. When I say things happen I mean like the most random things happen that keep us from being somewhere on time. I can honestly say that we do not love that we are that “late friend”. Can you possibly think that it is fun showing up at every place we go saying ” OMG I AM SO SORRY  I AM LATE MY….” you fill in the blank? Then you have to hang onto their facial expressions as you are giving your long drawn out story and trying to decide whether they are thinking ” Oh girl that is fine! We are just glad you are here and have your coffee!” or “Your a disgrace to all things human! Why oh why is it so hard for you to be punctual!”. Okay maybe the last one was a bit dramatic but still you get my point.

My mother always tells me “Haley Marie that is such an awful quality to have. It isn’t professional or polite.” Not only does my mother get on to me about it but I have had others who begin to get frustrated when planning things to do with me because when the time comes I am never their at the time I said that I would be. Where I can see their point of view that having me as a friend can be super frustrating at times but I am here to give the insight on how it really is to be the “late friend”.

As having always been the late friend and being criticized for my tardiness I have spent countless hours beating myself up about how to be somewhere on time. I am sure you are reading this and saying “SET A DAG ON TIMER WOMAN!” As great as that sounds that method does not work for me because my brain really knows that I actually have 30 minutes left till I have to be there so I still have time to do whatever it is I am doing. I have come to accept that I am “the one that is to be late”. That is me and that is who the Lord has called me to be. Yeah thats right I just said that. I just said that me being the one who is always late is what the Lord has called me to be. It is a gift not a burden.

It is a gift and not a burden and here is why: When I am late I am not going by what I have planned. In my plans ( and yes I actually do plan things out) I tell myself that I will be where I am supposed to be at the time I said I would be there. I am sure that most of you know that it doesn’t work that way in life. You can plan plan plan all day long but at the end of the day Jesus is going to have HIS planned fulfilled not ours. Jesus has laid this truth on my heart a lot here recently that it is okay for me to be late because in my lateness I am able to be somewhere that I didn’t intend to be, to be a Light for Jesus. I have countless examples to give of things that have happened in my tardiness that could have never happened if I was where I was supposed to be on time.

One particular example: A few Sunday’s ago I was driving home from Fayetteville and I had planned to leave early that morning so that I could make it back for the 11:15 service at church. Well of course actually leaving the house took me a lot longer than I thought and I was supposed to see my dad before I left to go back. So naturally I am already in a time crunch. As I am driving to go meet my dad I realize I really do not have time for this. I knew I was going to be so late for church and I did not want to miss it but Jesus stepped in a told me that I should just go to the 6:00 service and go to breakfast with my dad. So I did and it was wonderful having that time with him. When I finally get on the road to head back to Greenville I realize that I am just in time to stream the live early service on my phone while I am driving. So that is what I did and guess what? It was AMAZING. Just me and Jesus driving down I95 together. When I got back into Greenville I decided since it was so early in the morning and I had already listened to church online and since I couldn’t go to the 11:15 service I would just go to Starbucks to read my bible and have my quiet time. I sit down at my usual spot at the big table and their is this girl that is seated beside me who is reading her Bible and doing her quiet time. We both sat their for awhile reading and then she spoke to me. We ended up having a 30 min conversation about the goodness of Jesus, how we had a mutual friend and how one of her good friends was looking for a roommate. At the end of the conversation we exchanged numbers and she put me in contact with her friend who was looking for a roommate and is very similar to me, and loves Jesus. Where as normal people would think “Holy Cow you’re crazy you just met that girl and you don’t even know her friend and you are thinking about living with her!?”, but I am not normal and I knew it to be a total and complete Jesus moment.

Her friend and I eventually met and became instant friends who both have a passion to be women who are in soul pursuit of Jesus. That kind of stuff does not happen apart from Jesus. Jesus is able to use my insufficient ability to be on time or to have good time management skills, to show His goodness and His Glory. To you my tardiness may be a pain and it can be hard to deal with and for that I am sorry, but at the end of the day just know that when I am not where I supposed to be the Lord is doing His work. It isn’t about our schedules and dates and times. It is about Jesus. I am so guilty of the mornings when I am rushing to work and I can not seem to understand WHY in Gods green earth did I get stuck behind a bus or at a light or behind that slow car. I have to remember that God is not taking time away from me He is giving me time to be with Him. He is giving me extra time to turn up my radio and praise His Holy name. He is giving me extra time to pray for my day and for others. He is giving me extra time to call up that friend you know is up at the crack of dawn like you are and send Jesus, love and light their way. I can even say with confidence that even sometimes He is giving me extra time to stop and get that coffee that is definitely needed and is going to make me 10 minutes late, but it is okay because I make sure to pay for the person’s coffee who is behind me so that even when I am late I am still using it to bring glory to Jesus!

Where we are insufficient Jesus is SUFFICIENT! Praise His name for being late! If you are going to be late be late, be late because of Jesus. If you are early, then be early because of Jesus. If you are Super ADD, then be ADD because of Jesus. If you are Mr. or Mrs. I must plan everything out to a T and be super organized, then be it because of Jesus. No matter who you are or what you have God wants to use you right where you are at, no more, no less. It is either to bless you or others, but either way it is all because of HIM. I know that it is not acceptable in some places to be late but sometimes you just cannot help it and for those like me it is a lot of times that I can’t help it. My intentions are their. I want to be on time but I fully believe that isn’t in the cards for me. I am here to do the work of Jesus and if that means shining His light in the most random places at the most random times then so be it! It is all God’s plan not mine!

There is no good way to be late EXCEPT for in the name of Jesus. Sunshine, Sparkles and Jesus!

“God said: “My grace is enough it is all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness.”

“Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ’s strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size- abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.”

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 MSG

 

-love a woman in soul pursuit of Jesus